Wednesday, 12 September 2012

i am not kidding with you, seriously..


there's something in my heart that i won't be able to tell when he's by my side.
every single breath that he breathe, i feel in every ways.
but why, on earth... you could have someone on your heart..
why you try to makes me envy of every women you've been with?
why I should cry whenever I see you happy?
because the girl that always by your side is always be my hope.
H, you're always talk to me whenever you're alone..
but can you guess, whenever I'm alone, there's nobody to put out my distress?
I cry and remembering of you makes me recuperate.
I tried to find you in my dreams but it was hopeless.
until now, I still put my hope on you..

eventhough my love for you is still a secret..
I want both of us to be happy together.
because it's all what I aimed for.
because it's all what I hoped for.
because you didn't know whose heart I belongs to..
because you don't want to see, heard, talk with anonymous ME,
I became insane from waiting for you.. it is insane..
i'm not kidding..
its me whom loving you, with all my heart..
and its me whom alive, to share my heart with somebody I don't even know..
and since my love never disrupt, I'll always look at your picture.
your picture is on my wallpaper..
your picture is on my room's wall,
your picture is everywhere in my life..
because my life have been so full with someone named YOU.
i'm sorry if I wasn't perfect at all to be with you,
even my life style doesn't suits you..
i won't let you go off my heart, eventhough you are someone else's boyfriend, fiance or husband..
i don't care as long as i don't erupt your whole life..
Looking you from afar is too better to recover my wounds.

and to forget you, i didn't know if I could. but..
i wouldn't be, i could not be, i won't be missing you..
from my heart forever, because you are my first love, my brother, and my father whenever nobody's around.
i know that I can't...




its all by me who tried so hard,

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